


(Don't Get) A Wrong Idea

by Sharkyofthesea



Category: Gravity Falls, Over the Garden Wall (Cartoon & Comics)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, Alternate Universe - High School, Anxiety, Bi!Dipper, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Internalized Homophobia, Kissing, M/M, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Oblivious, Pining, Self-Doubt, Sharing a Bed, TOO MANY COMMAS, bi!Wirt, eat it up my lovelies, everyone is very ooc, except the people fake dating don't end up together uhh, just a lil tho, mabel and wirt bonding time, my love the fake dating au makes an entrance, pan!Mabel, pines twins and wirt are next-door neighbors/childhood friends, pinescone, plot holes, rated g for content but there might be swearing, shitty poetry, somewhat slow burn, wirt sweetie i'm so sorry about my awful poetry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-07
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-13 03:35:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29895021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sharkyofthesea/pseuds/Sharkyofthesea
Summary: “Please, Wirt? I don’t know what else to do!”Mabel was down on her knees, wrapping her arms around Wirt’s waist making over dramatic sobbing noises with her face plunged into his sweater. While it seemed that there was a better way to solve this problem, it’s not like pretending to be Mabel’s boyfriend would be that much trouble for him. He already hung out with the Pines twins constantly anyway and this way he’d get free ice cream out of it. Wirt sighed.“Sure, why not?”A story in which the Pines twins and Wirt are next-door neighbors/childhood friends and Wirt is fake-dating Mabel to help her with her creepy ex and maybe, just maybe, to make a certain paranormal-obsessed boy a little bit jealous.
Relationships: Dipper Pines/Wirt (Over the Garden Wall)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 6





	1. Mabel's A+ Problem-Solving Skills

**Author's Note:**

> this has been sitting in my wips for so long,,, and it's still not finished. I don’t really have the best track record when it comes to finishing things, but I have 2 chapters written and the rest are outlined so if I go off the grid for too long feel free to yell at me. 
> 
> This story takes place in a universe where Wirt’s family and the Pines are next-door neighbors and they’ve essentially grown up together. The families have that kind of friendship where the kids just kinda walk in and out of both houses with reckless abandon. I don’t know if anything like that actually exists in real life but this is fiction so. Also Wirt goes with them to Gravity Falls every summer but I probably won’t mention anything about it?? That’s a fic for another day.

All Wirt had wanted to do was practice his clarinet for the rest of the afternoon, undisturbed. Greg was going to be with his mom and step-dad at a park all day, so he wouldn’t have them coming in at all. It wasn’t like they ever really came into his room so often in the first place; Greg had grown up a little and understood that sometimes Wirt needed his space, so he wouldn’t normally barge in, especially with the door closed.

So when Mabel Pines burst into his room, interrupting his reverie, Wirt was startled to say the least. Usually when this happened, it was because she wanted something, but he kept on playing and hoped that this would be one of those rare times where Mabel just wanted to lie on his bed and have some time out of her own house to blow off steam or something. Unfortunately this was not the case, and Wirt could tell from the way Mabel was sitting in front of him criss-cross on the red carpet with eager eyes and a bright smile that she was waiting for him to finish. He stopped playing and humored what was sure to be a request for Wirt to do something outlandish for her. He had barely gotten the reed out of his mouth when she started to sweet-talk him.

“We’re friends Wirt, right?”

It was a question, but it felt more like a statement, or at the very least a reminder. Wirt said nothing but gave Mabel a knowing look to tell her to just get to the point.

“You saw right through that, huh?” she giggled nervously and continued. “Well, I may have gotten myself into a situation that I might need you to do something for me that I’m not sure that you’ll particularly like, but I know that I can definitely make it worth you while so if you’d-”

Wirt slapped his forehead.

“Mabel, just say what you want me to do already!”

Her eyes blew wide open and after a moment she let out a gasp of air she had been holding.

“I need you to pretend to be my boyfriend.”

Wirt looked incredulously at her.

“Good lord Mabel, what have you gotten yourself into this time?”

“Do you remember Gideon?”

“How could I forget? Can’t believe a kid as young as him has already gone completely gray.”

“Yeah, well his family’s travelling psychic show just _coincidentally_ decided to stop in Piedmont for a week. I think he’s trying to win me back again.”

“Tell me again how this led to you needing a fake boyfriend?”

“Gideon wants to hide the fact that he’s insane so if he sees me with another guy I think he’ll leave me alone.”

Wirt sighed.

“That seems like an overly-complicated plan to avoid something as simple as rejecting him.”

Mabel rolled her eyes, as if what she was saying wasn’t completely ridiculous, “I know, but I’m just so tired of talking with him. I just want him to get the message, move on, and take his freaky little circus with him.”

Wirt still felt that there was a simpler solution, but he couldn’t come up with anything that Mabel would outright reject.

“It’ll just be from today until next Sunday, come on,” she pleaded, “You and I just need to go on one or two ‘dates,’ and I’ll even buy you ice cream or something.”

Wirt scrunched up his nose and squinted at Mabel.

“Why me?” he scrutinized her, “Don’t you have a million other guy friends you can turn to?”

“You’re the tallest guy I know, so you’ll intimidate Gideon more,” she pouted, “Plus, I know you won’t accidentally fall in love with me.”

“And why are you so sure of that?” Wirt dryly mused, putting his clarinet away since it was now obvious that Mabel wasn’t going to let this idea go so easily.

She grinned wide like the Chesire cat. “Because I know you like someone else.”

Wirt fumbled with his clarinet case and he watched it slip out of his hands and then fall to the floor with a clunk. He turned nervously back to face her.

“W-what do you mean?”

She leered at him, “You know what I mean.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

After a moment of scrutiny, Mabel threw up her hands, gave an exasperated sigh, and asked, “So, will you do it, or not?”

Wirt thought about it.

“No.”

“Please, Wirt? I don’t know what else to do!”

Mabel was down on her knees, wrapping her arms around Wirt’s waist making over dramatic sobbing noises with her face plunged into his sweater. While it seemed that there was a better way to solve this problem, it’s not like pretending to be Mabel’s boyfriend would be that much trouble for him. He already hung out with the Pines twins constantly anyway and this way he’d get free ice cream out of it. Wirt sighed.

“Sure, why not?”

Mabel sat up, her tears being magically gone, and cheered. 

“Thank you Wirt! I owe you lots.”

“Yeah, you do,” Wirt grumbled, “I better get that ice cream.”

She laughed and hugged him, “Of course you will! I swear to it. Mabel’s honor.”

She skipped out of the room, clearly happy with how the conversation had gone. Wirt was left alone with his thoughts and he dwelled on something that Mabel had said. 

_ Because I know you like someone else. _

It was obviously just something to rile him up, right? There was no way that she could know…  _ Wirt _ barely knew it himself until not too long ago. There was no way, and he was glad for that. It would be a nightmare of embarrassment if she knew that he was in love with her brother.

_ Wait… brother? _

It suddenly dawned on Wirt the full scope of what he agreed to. He just said that he would pretend to date his crush’s twin sister. That does not seem like a situation that will end well.

“Oh boy…” Wirt said aloud to his empty room.

What had he gotten himself into?


	2. Ulterior Motives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mabel and Wirt decide to "practice" being a couple and Dipper has an interesting reaction...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first 2 chapters are kinda short so I decided to post them both now.

The next day, Mabel had dragged Wirt off to the twins’ room so they could “discuss the whole situation.” She sat on her bed and Wirt pulled up her desk chair so he could face her. After spinning around in it a few times, Wirt stopped and looked expectantly at Mabel for her to explain whatever it was she was going to tell him.

“So clearly, we should talk about how this is going to go,” Mabel started.

Wirt picked at a loose string in the sleeve of his sweater.

“I mean, it’s your idea, so I’ll just do whatever you need.”

“Okay then,” Mabel nodded, “I think we just need to hang out together a lot more and act all lovey-dovey and stuff.”

“What do you mean by ‘lovey-dovey’? Like kissing?” Wirt felt a chill go down his spine. Mabel was practically his sister, so kissing felt like a step too far.

“Ew, no,” she gagged, “I just mean like putting your arm around me and holding hands.”

Wirt felt a surge of relief. He could manage that. Mabel continued.   
  


“Kissing you would be like kissing Dipper, ugh.”

The mention of Dipper and kissing in the same sentence made Wirt’s stomach tie up in knots.

_ Get ahold of yourself, _ he thought.

“I don’t think we should tell anyone that it’s fake, at least until Gideon leaves. The less people that know, the less likely it is that someone will spill.”

“Sure,” Wirt didn’t really have a problem with that, it’s not like anything really bad would come of people thinking he and Mabel dated for a week. He doubted his parents would notice in the first place.

“Cool.” Mabel looked like she had more to say, but she hesitated.

“What is it?” Wirt asked.

“Do you think we should practice holding hands? You barely even hug me and I don’t want you to look uncomfortable when it’s in public.”

“Fine.”

Wirt got up and moved to sit beside Mabel on her bed. He stuck out his hand and Mabel took it. She grinned at him.

“There, not so bad, huh?”

It really wasn’t. He’d held Greg’s hand to help him cross the street countless times, and this felt largely the same. Wirt looked over the other side of the room, the one that was more familiar to him, and thought about all the hours Dipper and he had spent there enjoying each other’s company. Wirt always felt comfortable around him, like he could show his true self without being ridiculed. It was those times, where Wirt gazed into deep brown eyes and divulged his deepest insecurities, that caused him to fall even more head over heels for his best friend. Wirt allowed himself to imagine what it would be like if he was in this room holding hands with the other Pines twin.

Just as he thought this, Dipper himself walked in the room. It was his room too, so it shouldn’t have surprised Wirt, but still a feeling of panic ran through his body. He’d felt like Dipper had just caught him doing something terrible even all he was doing was holding hands with his sister. 

Dipper’s eyes zeroed in on the other two’s interlocked hands and his mouth twitched slightly downward, before he quickly looked up at both of them and smiled.

“Hey guys, what’s up?”

Wirt broke out in a sweat. He didn’t want Dipper to think that he was trying to hide a relationship with his sister from him, but he also couldn’t tell him that it was all fake. The silence in the room grew thick and uncomfortable; Wirt had to say something!

“We’re dating!” Wirt blurted out in a panic. Mabel gave him an amused look.

“Oh really?” Dipper’s face and tone were lighthearted, but Wirt could tell that there was some kind of irritation hiding underneath, “How’d it happen?”

Wirt laughed a bit too loudly to be normal and racked his brain for some kind of explanation.

“Ha ha, well, y’know, it just kinda happened.”

Dipper seemed satisfied with Wirt’s horrible reasoning, but it was more likely that he just didn’t want to talk about it anymore. He turned so the other two couldn’t see his face, and he started to pick up random objects from his desk, only to put them down a second later.

“It’s nothing serious, Bro-Bro, we just wanted to try it and see what happens.”

“Uh huh, ok, you guys have fun,” Dipper rushed out of the room, running face first into the door frame in the process, and then hurried down the stairs.

After the sound of Dipper’s footsteps faded, Mabel let out a bout of boisterous laughter.

“Wirt, you can stop squeezing my hand now, jeez!”

He hadn’t noticed, but he had been gripping onto Mabel’s hand for dear life. So much for hiding his crush.

“Oh, sorry.”

She laughed again, “He was so flustered!”

“Wait, who, me?” Wirt asked.

“No,  _ Dipper _ ,” she guffawed, “Look at him, he knocked over half of the things on his desk and he even ran into the door!”

Mabel continued to laugh and roll around on her bed while Wirt reflected on her observations. Dipper was a little nervous, but he’s probably just surprised at the idea of them dating. It makes sense, Wirt would never have put Mabel and him together either. But what if that wasn’t it?

_ What if he’s… jealous? _

Wirt shook his head. That could never happen. Dipper was as straight as a board and even if he wasn’t, why would he like awkward, nerdy Wirt?

Wirt tried to dispel the small beacon of hope that had started to form in his mind. A little, mischievous voice whispered a sinister idea to him.

What if he and Mabel just happened to “date” each other while Dipper was around? After all, it’s not like Dipper actually liked Wirt that way, so him seeing them together shouldn’t be a problem. He swallowed hard. Maybe he was going to get something other than ice cream out of this situation.

**Author's Note:**

> so... yeah... anyway.
> 
> kudos, comments, etc are always appreciated! Also follow me on tumblr if you want: @book-loving-lesbians
> 
> if you see any typos keep them shits to yourself


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